Mixing in a Bit of Spring

Not my favorite outfit, but I'm so happy I could finally get away with wearing this blouse with a long sleeved shirt underneath and jacket over top. I don't love that I still needed to wear booties with it, but I'll deal with it.

We finally made our way to Shanghai to hunt for the only H&M maternity section nearby last weekend. Up until then, this pair of maternity work trousers was the only thing I had that wasn't regular pants with a belly band. It's tough to sink a whole day into traveling the 85 km between Suzhou and Shanghai for errands. But, oh my gosh, was it worth it. With about 10 weeks to go, I needed pants with stretch!

Happy weekend to you all, friends! Hope you get to bust out a springtime favorite article of clothing and mix it with your winter gear. Maybe if we all collectively get into a spring-y headspace together, it will show up sooner. That's how that works, right?

 

Raising a Neckline

We have a joke about my upper half- "small but mighty." I have a little more going on now than I ever have before, but let's be really real. I will never have what could be termed a rack. Which means I don't fill stuff out. Which means I have the potential to show off a lot more camisole than I want to.

Enter my 3rd grade-level sewing skills.

I discovered a while back that 10 minutes with a needle and thread and stitching a few tiny pleats into the shoulders of lowcut pieces makes me like my shirts just a little better. While I appreciate the good work my camisoles are doing in keeping either wind off my back or functioning as a sweat barrier (depending on the season), they should always remain an undergarment, not a visual contrast to a v-neck.

< Nope. No black camisole, please.                 That's better. And visually simpler. >

 

Super easy fix! Flip inside out, gather 2-3 tiny pleats to the front side of the shoulder seam, throw a few stitches in across the trim to make sure it's secure, and that's it!

My other low-cut top quick fix? Throw a scarf on and hide it.

Gaaaah, I'm lazy.

Popping In

This is the very last time I'll wear these ugly boots, I promise.

I won't go as far as to say "It's SPRING!" yet, but there are a few buds on trees, the sun is cracking a smile now and then between drizzly days, and the willow trees lining the canals all have a vague light green hue. Nothing you might be able to call recognizable leaves, but Suzhou is trying to let Mother Nature make her move. And I'm so happy!

I'd also like to give a shout out to Mother Nature doin' her thing across my midsection... I had to laugh out loud when I saw these photos- we don't have a full length mirror, so I really don't have a great conception of how this kiddo is changing my body yet since I can't really see what's going on. I'll just let you enjoy the hilariously too-short sweater action that pops out to say hello in the second and last pictures. Not even my attempt at cheerful pink lipstick can detract from the near-miss belly flash. Sorry, friends.

 

 

Strategy

Winter gave me a major case of the "blahs" this year. I know it doesn't hold a candle to the miserable winter so many of my Midwest buddies had to tough out (sorry you're so snowed in and pissed about it, mom) but everyone here has said last summer was the hottest on record in decades, and this winter was one of the coldest with the highest humidity in the last few years. We got no more than a pathetic sprinkling of snow, but commuting in the soak-into-your-bones cold has been darn unpleasant. Add into that the fact that my favorite coats all now fit like sausage casings and it had been too cold and clammy to leave them unbuttoned. Boo hoo and shut up, Kate. I'll keep reminding myself that my masterful 3-undershirt layering skills kept me mostly warm enough every day without turning me into a puffy coat and Cosby sweater Chinese fashionista. Outer layers, like this cardigan, never did piddly for keeping the chill at bay- it's just for show. What you can't see is that I consistently wore a skintight camisole tucked into my pants so there was never any cold gusts, a GapBody stretchy long sleeved tee, and an outdoor-grade undershirt or two under the sweater of my choice. Every dang day. 

Plus those unattractive LLBean boots. 

I better keep an eye on those poor boots- I'm afraid Rob will send them away before next winter. I just hope he has enough sense to realize that they're my pull-on-dog-walking-shoes, too, and if they disappear, so does my obligation to get up to take the beagle out at 6:30. 

Sausage casing coat. Good look, Kate, good look.

Beginning of the End

Well, I've done it. My 30 days' notice has been submitted, I'm working like mad to help out with as much infrastructure as I can, but I'm going to stop working. And it's mixed emotions.

First of all, I don't want to make anyone feel bad- The only real reason we are able to pull off the stay at home thing financially is because Rob's very normal first year professor's salary stretches a whole lot further in China. Second, my income is quite generous by cultural standards, but still just a fraction of what could be considered a "second income" so we're not losing out on a lot. Third, the cost of having a kid over here is out of pocket doable; not cheap, but not unmanageable- my access to benefits was only linked to my working up until birth and coming back quickly afterward. The healthcare package and coverage was clear within the structures of very standard Chinese public hospital care, which isn't going to be a legitimate option for us since only the "VIP" services, which aren't covered, offer English language assistance reliably. And homegirl isn't brave enough to chance midnight labor at a hospital with no English speakers to call. 

So, what do I gain by saying Goodbye to my tenure as an administrator? Big big big deal gain is that I'll have an available and open schedule. Time to actually attend Expat mom groups to start making friends and gaining intel on how having a kid over here works, getting someone's used German diaper bag for a major discount, and spending time with ladies and kids who will become our community for the next few years. I've already met a few people just from skipping one day of work to go to a mom group before my doctors appointment and got clued into a few seminars that I'll be going to to learn more about this whole mommyhood thing. I'll also have weekday free time to go to Shanghai to shop, rather than spend precious weekends fighting the crowds. There's one Shanghai H&M with a maternity section and I don't fit into any of my pants anymore, so it's an urgent and necessary trip. Same goes for some Ikea shopping, and Rob can't stand the Sunday crowds. Also, for the first time ever in their lives, my critters can get used to a schedule where they don't get crated for a whole workday. And the poor recovering beagle can get some beautiful springtime day muscle building walks before the heat of summer and inconvenience of a human sibling ruins his chances for some TLC. 

But, I do work with some lovely people and have really enjoyed flexing my meticulous organization and protocol creating muscles to help the new School of Music get off the ground. It's a wise step to help me get into the headspace of this next phase for our family since I'm lousy at work/life balance and establishing boundaries, but I step away with a bit of sadness and a little "oh my gosh, how am I really going to fill my time?!" fear. Stay at home mommas- how did you feel when you made the choice to stop working and how on earth did you cope with the post-honeymoon "Freeeeedom!" jolt of reality that comes with stay at home routines?

In the meantime, I'll pump up my work wardrobe a notch to make up for the truly lazy wintertime dressing I'd been passing off as office-appropriate attire. C'mon springtime.

Cultural Shifts

Third Trimester. Boom. And it's a bump that's finally a bump, not just a burrito, which makes me really happy. Every few weeks, I get really hungry and kiddo grows like a weed, and next thing you know there's more happening out front. And I'm really grateful so far that family genetics have been good to me and I still feel fine.

I've noticed a cultural difference in attitudes about pregnancy over here. We passed a woman last night who must have been right around the same due date as me. And, while I'm still pretty nimble and limber, thankfully, goooooosh, she was waddling. I've not seen a woman who was visibly pregnant walking like she didn't have a softball balanced between her thighs. It's crazy. I don't know if the Chinese physique really does get very uncomfortable much sooner, but I'm inclined to believe that women are expected to appear faint and helpless and not lift a finger during pregnancy. The wider the waddle, the more effective the baking of a kid? And most of them don't seem to be loving it even a little. Babies must be for grandparents. Because mamas look pretty blah about the whole thing. Weird.

Snuggling

While it's still a little too chilly to be prancing around in one of my newly acquired stretchy dresses with shorty sleeves, it's not half bad if one layers supa slim undershirts and double layers of tights (folded way low below my bump- it's getting squishy) under them. Oh, and spend the workday under a blanket.

Desk blankets. They're a thing and they're good stuff.

Also, this photobomber has been all up in my business since the beginning of the break. It got more intense as the fireworks were going off for the Lunar New Year, but she's been a permanent fixture on my lap whenever it's available and my little shadow as I mill around the house. The dog and I are usually little peas in a pod, so it's kind of fun to have this lady hanging around. It really was nice to have a routine of spending the day taking care of the house and critters (while snacking to my heart's content... there's something about cut carrot in a baggie that's way less satisfying that carrots fresh cut and in a bowl). So, Eddie, get ready, because we're going to snuggle like mad this weekend. And I'll snack on potato chips so you can lazily swipe one from out of the bag as you're perched on my lap.

The Grind

Daaangit. I'm back to work.

It's a big week to be fresh back at it and rolling at full steam- we have over 100 prospective students arriving for two days to audition for the music program and take diagnostic tests for musical knowledge. The Chinese higher educational system is really different from Europe or the States; students typically have to apply for the University, complete an audition (pretty normal), but the tricky part is the "quota system" where there's a minimum score on the entrance audition and a percentage allotted to each province based on how many applications we receive. On top of that percentage divided into 40, the maximum we can accept, a student's attendance depends on a passing grade on the National Test and our school being on the top of their list of acceptable schools. Lots of stuff has to line up to get kids in the doors!

So, wish me and my only legit pair of maternity pants (hauled all the way over from the States with fingers crossed that they would fit!) good luck, and keep your fingers crossed that we wind up with some great students for next year. Mostly my office mates need the good vibes, I just need to keep up a good attitude. Don't want to go back! I really liked managing my house and family for a month.

 

 

Out and About

It reverted back to winter. Which is okay since I'm still on break and spending most of my time inside, but ultimately makes walking the dog really difficult. We call Miles "Little Mister Prissy Paws" when he gets all worked up about having to *shock and horror!* walk on the cold grass and pavement. And strictly business walks are okay, but it's when he's all wound up and needs to work kinks out of his back leg that it gets tricky. He charges off after a scent, then realizes he's made a horrible mistake, is too far from our building, and gets all tip-toe-walky the rest of the way back. And then can't be bothered to wait for me to use my tap card to open the foyer door and bashes his head into the glass. And let's be real here- if he was still in Ohio with my parents, he's be subjected to the whole snowpocalypse, so he's got it good here.

And despite the chill, Rob and I have made time to get out of the house together and figure out more about our city. We've pretty concretely determined that we'll move to the more Expat-populated area of town next year- convenience, more interesting stuff close by, fewer students, more diverse food (grocery and eating out), but, most importantly, the increased probability of finding friends. It's been a struggle since most of our neighbors in this area are apartments filled with students and multi-generation families. And the English speaking/ bilingual population is either 22 years old or in the midst of a career boom. So, we'll try for friends elsewhere! To kickstart the process, we've found a few restaurants that list things like Taco Tuesdays, Quiz Nights, Mommy Meet-Up's, etc. that we'll start making efforts to go and try to meet people. It's like dating. But worse, because there's not a lot of language overlap. Huge German, French, and Chinese speaking cool-people pockets of young professionals and mommies. And plenty of English speakers, but they're either 23 or 55. Where are my 27-37 kindred spirits?!

Not to worry, I'm putting my extrovert husband on the hunt.

Chinese New Year and Down Time

Honesty is the best policy, no? Because if I'm being completely truthful with you all, I've been in real people clothes for maybe 7 of the past 25 days. I'm not ashamed to say that I've done every single dog poo walk in my pajama pants and have even done one or two of my pop out for groceries runs in them, too. And since I've spent the last seven years working my ass off supporting my family and in work clothes for 40-60 hours any given week, I'm more than happy to revel in sporting sweats daily for the entirety of this break. 

So, what have we been up to? While Rob was out of town for two weeks, I spent much of my time daydreaming, petting the animals, and snacking. The Chinese New Year fireworks (which were set off in the apartment community every 5 minutes by families to celebrate, day and night, for 48 hours straight) was pretty rough on the animals. Miles crapped inside a few times after some jerk set off a string of firecracker in the middle of us walking past him outside. Couldn't wait the 30 seconds for us to get out of the way? And Eddie got nervous, hid a lot (not normal for her), and lost her appetite for about 6 days, so I took her to the vet after she peed on our bed and didn't have a poop for 3 days. No diabetes, no bladder infections, no indication of problems other than stress. Poor little girl. And I swear to you here and now that I won't blog about my child's bowels when they arrive, it's just especially stressful when your cat baby (I've had her for over 9 years!) is showing signs of bladder infection or kidney failure (with a post-holiday diagnosis of "nothing is wrong") and personality changes just as EVERYTHING shuts down for 6 days. But, we're all back to normal, Rob is home, and we've had the really nice opportunity to get out and explore more of the city while all the students are still away and it's nice and quiet. 

Anyway, here's a few photos of the last few weeks and captions to fill you in on what's been up. 

My holiday uniform (pajama pants, crappy socks, and a random cozy top) plus a floppy-eared sidekick.

Daydreaming- making plans to buy a few household things for summer- crib, guest bed (for my mom when she comes to stay for a bit after the baby arrives), and a dresser. Because I'm happy to pay for furnishings myself in my furnished apartment since Chinese interior decor taste is pretty atrocious.

Our morning norm- Miles under the blankets to the right of my legs, and Eddie firmly snuggled between my knees. It's rare that she isn't snuggled into my lap if I'm sitting down lately.

Upon his return, Rob and I have been playing epic and cutthroat games. If you've never played Fill or Bust, find it and give it a whirl. You'll either love it or you'll start a war. 

My ultrasound records. Which the baby was too small for at 24 weeks, so they asked me to come back to try again. And now, the fun of retranslating them (I got the verbal explaination and all is a-okay, but I like having a record for myself).

One of my few for-fun trips out of the house. I went to Shantang Road in Old Town, Suzhou and finally found a pineapple vendor who uses this special v-shaped utensil to prepare the fruit. The big cleaver thing is for stripping and chopping sugar cane. If you see either of these utensils for sale in Williams-Sonoma next Chistmas season, thank my sister, who lived in Beijing and fell in love with how deftly the vendors could fresh-cut fruits for you, and is convinced the American obsession with kitchen gadgets will make these an easy sell. You're all welcome in advance.