Long, Lean, and Green

Speaking of post-partum wearing of maternity dresses: kindly refer to Exhibit C. My husband's Bromance sent a package before Violet was born, including a teething bead bracelet, hilarious pacifiers (reading "Pull to Sound Alarm" and "Mute Button"), a sketch book for me, a pillowcase with his own face on it because he knew we were going into withdrawl, and this magical, magical dress. Ladies, this thoughtful man is single. How? I'm still not sure.

Anyway, I've been wearing this nonstop all summer long. It skims the lumpy post-C-section bits, has a perfect amount of stretch for boob access, cinches nicely in at the natural waist, avoiding the maternity mumu empire waist and the too-low that-would-never-fit-a-pregnant-belly waist line. Magic.

Grab a scarf of your choice for nursing cover duty and rock and roll.

Nice spit-up stain on the thigh, Violet. 

Swing Dress and the Swing of Things

Shocker. Another no-bra, dress, and scarf combination.

I can't tell you all how much more of a joy life has been the last few weeks. We ironed out a system of overnight pumping (Violet has been sleeping from 9:30 - 7:00 pretty reliably and Holy Engorgement, Batman) so the one or two bottles she does seem to want during the day are solely pumped milk, or maybe only 1/3 formula. Her little belly is full and happy, she sleeps like a champ, we're figuring out naptimes, her grins and alert time is spent exploring and observing with almost no crying anymore. We had a non-colicky, but really shitty and uncomfortable first few months. And it was so frustrating that I knew this sweet kid was hidden by a gassy, hungry but not getting what she needs scream-machine. All of a sudden, at about 15 weeks, Real Violet showed back up and we started to really get into the swing of things.

Baby Blue

My grand return to blogging what I've been wearing and this lame little number is what I open with?

Yes. Big, fat yes.

Because my version of "style blogging" is all about accountability for what I wear and, truthfully, it's a lot of dresses with no bra lately. Pardon me, maternity dresses with no bra. Which I purchased post-partum. So, here's to hoping the next pregnancy aligns seasonally with being able to wear a sleeveless dress with very forgiving belly ruching.

Flashback: Maternity Dress

Before we get too far along, I have a few maternity styles to share with you guys that I never got the chance to post. Not many, but a few fun looks that we're nice nods to springtime. 

This dress was a maternity MVP. So comfortable, so stretchy, and so cheap. Thanks, H&M, for being abundant in China and for having good stretchy dress options. One size up, this one was perfect. 

Grateful

Oh, look what I found in drafts... from weeks ago. One of my final work outfits from a surprise sunny day amidst the springtime rains (so I, naturally, went against the Chinese norm of covering every bit of leg and skin and overdressing despite whatever the weather is and wore no tights). I loved how absurdly tiny this cardigan looks against my kiddo curves; it was fun to wear a kicky bit of print.

I really thought I would miss work a little once I stepped away. I've been motivated and diligent for years, investing more of myself and my time in working and earning our wages than I should have. I always felt so responsible to the success of my little family; making sure my income, as paltry as it always was in the midst of the economic downturn and as hard as I had to work to earn it, was enough to get us through not only bills, but provide enough extra to make sure Rob could take part in as many "extras" as possible while going through school. Conferences, festivals, paying musicians out of our own pockets to play his pieces. It costs a lot to succeed in music composition. But, we powered through, hopeful that one day, not too many years from graduation, he would find a really great job that made him happy and was substantial enough for us to start a family. I hoped, with fingers and toes crossed, that it would be someplace with an interesting arts scene. I hoped that it would be a position that would allow me to spend at least a little time away from work while we raised kids, that we wouldn't be perpetually broke anymore and I could enjoy fulfilling my dream of becoming a mommy a couple times over. Never did I assume I would get to detach from working completely, knowing that Rob is enjoying the challenge (and parts of it are definitely that) of working at a School of Music as a professor, knowing that our finances are modest, but comfortable for the first time in our marriage, and we'd get to do it all while experiencing the madness of living outside of the USA. It's not all sunshine and bubbles, since I know I'll spend a lot of my "free time" hunting for reliable information about where to get safe vaccines and buy non-toxic Legos abroad, things that are taken oh-so-for-granted when you live someplace with regulated markets, but I know how damn lucky we are. Well, it's not entirely luck- we both worked our asses off to catch this really amazing break.

Thanks for sticking with me as I've been blogging about this wild life adventure of living in China. I know it may have turned off some readers who view it as gloating or novelty. But it's life as I know it right now. No better, no worse, no more exotic or fabulous than living in Houston or Boston or Los Angeles. It's just my new normal, whatever that means. Like I said, thanks for sticking around. It helps to have some of you online girlfriends to feel a little less like an outsider all the time.

Cultured

I'm about a week behind in sharing this look, but here it is, anyway.

Rob and one of his colleagues organized and hosted a pretty extensive World Music Festival last week, which included several lectures about different cultures' music, ethnomusicology, current trends in composition, etc. Plus, one high profile performance (Indian Tabla!) at the Suzhou Culture Centre, which was performed for a full house! Do yourself a favor and go listen to some of Abhiman Kaushal's tabla performances- insane. Better still? He's a heck of a nice guy and a really engaging teacher. And if you're in a New Music mood- listen to some of Shi-Hui Chen's pieces (she's Rob's teacher from Rice and the reason we found out about the job here in Suzhou). All such good stuff last week!

So, in order to impress absolutely nobody except the gaggle of Indian and Chinese 19 year old students who flooded the concert hall for the performance, I kicked my maternity style up a notch and wore this snazzy little stretch dress, a loud overcoat, silk scarf (so beautiful and SO hard to wear since it's a massive square shape) and actually curled my hair. And then stunk it all up when, after the concert, we joined the performers for a late-night Hot Pot meal. Seriously, wear old clothes when you plan to order Sichuan spicy soup. You'll reek for days.

Free Fallin'

A few major steps to manage in our website redesign project, administrative stuff for a faculty meeting, and whatever other madness comes along this week, and I'm outta the office. Just in time for some sunshine coming up!

The bad news? It rained at the end of last week and I slipped on the metal steps of the stairwell of the faculty cafeteria on my way out and landed right on my tailbone. No butt meat or cushion, just tailbone. I don't think it's cracked, just a mean nasty bruise and a little back muscle tightening. And kiddo is completely fine; in fact, I didn't even feel any jostle in my belly when I landed, but daaaaang, it's hard to sit in an office chair all day now. The other bad news? I broke my own fall with my right forearm and sat directly on my right middle finger. The worse news? What should have become a really rocking forearm bruise to rival the mystery table run-in bruises my sister gets faded perfectly after I used coconut oil on it. I didn't even get a chance to long-distance show it off.

To all my pregnant blogging buddies- watch your ass. Literally. A banged up tailbone hurts like none other when you go down with extra little person weight. Oh, and coconut oil is filled with miracles and rainbows.

Beginning of the End

Well, I've done it. My 30 days' notice has been submitted, I'm working like mad to help out with as much infrastructure as I can, but I'm going to stop working. And it's mixed emotions.

First of all, I don't want to make anyone feel bad- The only real reason we are able to pull off the stay at home thing financially is because Rob's very normal first year professor's salary stretches a whole lot further in China. Second, my income is quite generous by cultural standards, but still just a fraction of what could be considered a "second income" so we're not losing out on a lot. Third, the cost of having a kid over here is out of pocket doable; not cheap, but not unmanageable- my access to benefits was only linked to my working up until birth and coming back quickly afterward. The healthcare package and coverage was clear within the structures of very standard Chinese public hospital care, which isn't going to be a legitimate option for us since only the "VIP" services, which aren't covered, offer English language assistance reliably. And homegirl isn't brave enough to chance midnight labor at a hospital with no English speakers to call. 

So, what do I gain by saying Goodbye to my tenure as an administrator? Big big big deal gain is that I'll have an available and open schedule. Time to actually attend Expat mom groups to start making friends and gaining intel on how having a kid over here works, getting someone's used German diaper bag for a major discount, and spending time with ladies and kids who will become our community for the next few years. I've already met a few people just from skipping one day of work to go to a mom group before my doctors appointment and got clued into a few seminars that I'll be going to to learn more about this whole mommyhood thing. I'll also have weekday free time to go to Shanghai to shop, rather than spend precious weekends fighting the crowds. There's one Shanghai H&M with a maternity section and I don't fit into any of my pants anymore, so it's an urgent and necessary trip. Same goes for some Ikea shopping, and Rob can't stand the Sunday crowds. Also, for the first time ever in their lives, my critters can get used to a schedule where they don't get crated for a whole workday. And the poor recovering beagle can get some beautiful springtime day muscle building walks before the heat of summer and inconvenience of a human sibling ruins his chances for some TLC. 

But, I do work with some lovely people and have really enjoyed flexing my meticulous organization and protocol creating muscles to help the new School of Music get off the ground. It's a wise step to help me get into the headspace of this next phase for our family since I'm lousy at work/life balance and establishing boundaries, but I step away with a bit of sadness and a little "oh my gosh, how am I really going to fill my time?!" fear. Stay at home mommas- how did you feel when you made the choice to stop working and how on earth did you cope with the post-honeymoon "Freeeeedom!" jolt of reality that comes with stay at home routines?

In the meantime, I'll pump up my work wardrobe a notch to make up for the truly lazy wintertime dressing I'd been passing off as office-appropriate attire. C'mon springtime.

Snuggling

While it's still a little too chilly to be prancing around in one of my newly acquired stretchy dresses with shorty sleeves, it's not half bad if one layers supa slim undershirts and double layers of tights (folded way low below my bump- it's getting squishy) under them. Oh, and spend the workday under a blanket.

Desk blankets. They're a thing and they're good stuff.

Also, this photobomber has been all up in my business since the beginning of the break. It got more intense as the fireworks were going off for the Lunar New Year, but she's been a permanent fixture on my lap whenever it's available and my little shadow as I mill around the house. The dog and I are usually little peas in a pod, so it's kind of fun to have this lady hanging around. It really was nice to have a routine of spending the day taking care of the house and critters (while snacking to my heart's content... there's something about cut carrot in a baggie that's way less satisfying that carrots fresh cut and in a bowl). So, Eddie, get ready, because we're going to snuggle like mad this weekend. And I'll snack on potato chips so you can lazily swipe one from out of the bag as you're perched on my lap.

Stretch Dresses

Being a beanpole and pregnant all at the same time is proving to have it's own set of interesting dressing conundrums. I'm finding out pretty quickly that while pants (toootally unbuttoned and worn with a belly band) are my most layerable and warm option for the cold and clammy Suzhou winter, there's something tragically uncomfortable about the situation. I'm finally getting a little bit of a belly, but that must be nothing but other organs migrating north. Because this kid is still hanging out way low. Which means I'm trying to cram not only pregnancy weight, but the entire body mass of a 20 week kid below a waistband. All you mommies and pregnant gals out there- how did you carry? Any tips for my sitch? I'm going to go try looking for a maternity fashion store out in the city over the weekend, but I'm not feeling very good about my chances of locating anything even close to flattering.

Let me paint you a word picture of one young mama to be that I saw in the fall who was probably around the 35 week mark. It was daytime highs of 65, no real need for bundling, and this lovely gal was wearing the following: a dull ivory turtleneck under a Cosby sweater, which was in turn under the most humpty-dumpty in jodhpurs pair of overall-jumpsuit hybrid khakis I've ever seen. And the scary thing? Darting and seams that made it tragically clear that the offending leiderhosen were meant to be maternity wear.

I will not succumb, I promise.

So, moral of the story is that I will be seeking many opportunities to buy el cheapo stretchy dresses from H&M in a few sizes too large to maintain some semblance of ladyhood as I get more and more basket-ball-y. I'll cross my fingers for Rob to find a pair or two of maternity pants when he goes back to Houston in a week to bring back for me, but I'm going to have to find a way to keep making my regular pants and repurposed dresses work. Because if my fears are confirmed, I will not be doing any Chinese maternity brand shopping.

Pros and Cons: China Edition

Things I am finding that I miss.

• Cotton Balls. I used a "cotton pad" to remove my nailpolish, and it's like a disintegrating wet nap.
• Rubbing alcohol. I had no idea how useful this stuff was in my every day life until it was gone. 
• Paper towels. While I appreciate the reusability of rags, I would really prefer to do some of this move-in massive not-a-dustbunny-of-my-own-creation cleaning with a paper towel and then throw that shit away. 
• Ditto on Swiffers.
• Trustworthy fish. I would really like to try to cook a wok-prepared steamed salmon meal at home, but everyone is telling us to steer clear of fish. 
• Granola Bars. Except I dispelled this one earlier today- we found some really overpriced Oats and Honey bars at a specialty international grocery. Beaucoup bucks, but comforting and great energy. Now, if only I could find Nutella...
• Access to furniture shopping. It really isn't a "thing" here. There is no Target furniture section or Pottery Barn. The nearest Ikea is 2 hours away by public transit and train. And my furniture is all really crappy. 

Things that I kiiiinda prefer over here.

• My nail polish remover smells vaguely of vanilla, rather than chemical and fake vitamin E.
• Way less wasteful packaging and a cultural norm of tiny garbage cans. Our trash situation is heavenly. 
• A cultural norm of daily produce shopping. Um, fresh and fabulous.
• Using an umbrella daily as a sunshade. Pale skin is fashionable, so I'm like the queen bee already, but practically, it makes walking around on these hot hot days a little more bearable. 
• Having no choice but to slow down. It's too hot and I know too little of the language.
• Ginger scented dish soap. 

The evenings are getting down to only 88 degrees now! We're sweating like mad still, but at least I have some kind of desire to look halfway decent after 7 pm when we go out for dinner with friends. That's a step in the right direction!

Dress: Target...Belt: Target...Sandals: Chacos...Bag: Longchamp knockoff

Cruise Outfit and Packing Strategy

For your viewing pleasure: a few looks from dinners, a few from post-dinner hanging out with our table mates, a few from playing around in port during the days.

I will mention, though, that taking clothing was a royal waste of space in my suitcase. I packed over 9 tee and top options and only wore 5. I had two pairs of shorts and only wore one (mostly because all of our time on deck and on shore during the days were spent in a swimsuit and coverup. Why would I bother getting dressed to go to a beach if I can just drape and cover to go to a beach?).

MVP's for the week:
- Ankle/skinny white jeans- wore them almost every evening to hang out with a simple t-shirt and necklace or t-shirt and scarf combo.
- That floral scarf. I only took one with lots of color and was able to match it with a citron tee, a grey tee, my blue flowy dress, my tailored cream sheath dress, coral tank, etc, etc, etc. Incredibly versatile.
- Coral anything. It was the accidental theme color of vacation.
- Peeptoe neutral pumps, which looked rockin' with every dinner outfit, even if I opted for the cognac sandals instead (some choppy water during a few evenings).
- The absurdly bright batik'ed green and orange sarong coverup. I wore this draped across my back with two corners criss-crossed around my neck to make a modest dress. I felt perfectly tropical and a little bit foxy without showing my boobs to everyone.
- One darling vintage clutch, which gave a nice chic vibe to my formal dinner looks, and a kicky bit of personality to my white skinnies and a tee ensembles at night.
- SPF. No burns, only tans to show for our week away.

Big wastes of space:
- Tennis Shoes. Working out was a pain in the butt with so many suburban moms around and all my walking and hiking was done in my moulded rubber footbed Chacos.
- 2nd pair of shorts, too many extra tops, jacket.
- Too many jewelry options. I knew I'd choose simple or choose a scarf, so why did I bother?

 

5 Days 5 Ways Dresses

5 Days 5 Ways Dresses over with Franziska and Whitney! And I thought featuring two dresses that go through the Houston seasons with me would be fun. My seamstress-made linen-ish dress from Beijing and Target el cheapo perfection navy dress. I lovelovelove both of these goodies and forsee them hanging around for years to come when I need something easy to wear that looks rockstar.

Five

Dress: BCBG MaxAzaria via Buffalo Exchange...Belt: thrifted...Shoes: MaxStudio via DSW...Earrings: Beijing market...Bag: Longchamp knockoff

Well, it's happened. Bri Marie tagged me in 5 Things and peer pressure took a firm grip, so here I go. I've already done a few random fact posts, but I promise not to cheat and swipe from the archives.

1. I'm an Elvis Fan. I love his music and kind of despise the jacka-- he was in real life, so, I guess that means I'm a fan of Elvis' legacy and the idea of Elvis. I sing "Can't Help Falling in Love" to my critters all the time.

2. Beaches? Yeah, they're nice. But, I'm a mountain lover at heart. There's something wonderful about feeling so small, looking up from the foot of a mountain. If someone said, "Hey, here, have this 600 sq. ft. house with an awesome view of those mountains to live in with your whole family," I'd say "Sweet! bunkbeds!" and enjoy the heck out of the view.

3. I have been collecting scars on my left knee and I kind of love it. My best friend's husband rocketed a horseshoe directly into my kneecap (no joke, 20+ foot bounce) and it bruised and swelled up immediately. The incident of the metal pedicab gash, the Beijing communal sink wash-off, and bandaid made from tissue and coffee lid tape. And then the time I fell off my bike and had to pedal my bloody stump home since I did it in Hermann Park. Less than a year ago.

4. One of my very favorite things is to host big, enormous dinners for friends. Cooking dinner for 8 and getting to absorb the energy of big group conversation from the kitchen is the best. One level better? An old-fashioned potluck (legit, if I could eat a buffet catered by octogenarians and invite all my friends, that would just about be the best thing ever).

5. I did a lot of ballet as a kid. I was a mouse for 11 years in the Nutcracker. I'm not joking. And when we did a version of Alice in Wonderland, I was the Walrus. Let that sink in. My skinny butt was the Walrus. Momma didn't donate enough extra for a good role. You can't make this crap up. At 14 1/2, I had my first, horrible run-in with petty politics. And quit soon after.

Anne, In Residence
Salazar, 14 Shades of Gray
Amber, Easy Petite Looks
Dotty, Dash Dot Dotty
Audrey, Putting Me Together
Ally, Shybiker
Daryl, Unlost
Nikki, the Ginger Diaries
Terri, Stylish Sass
Lisa, Respect the Shoes
Rebecca, Rebecca Lately
Danielle, Little Bit Of Wo We
Faith, Sweetened Style
Megan, Feathers and Freckles
Marion, Marionberry Style

Overkill list? Maybe. Don't care. Hop on it, crew! And hop over to Pleated Poppy... because it's What I Wore Wednesday!